rewarding behaviors, not outcomes

As school starts back up, how are you preparing yourself and/or your children?  Are you expecting all “A’s” from them this year? a winning season in their sport?

I read recently that elite coaches reward behaviors, not outcomes.  When it came to school work, my dad did this very well when I was growing up.  He would explain to me that if I put 100+% into studying and came out with a “B” that I still had a very successful test and had done amazing!  What an encouragement.  If I worked hard (and yes I had to work hard!) then the outcome of even a “B” was much more satisfying.   (Please note that I am a second born, non type-a personality… so this particular application may need to be tweaked depending on the nature of your child)

The same goes with a weight loss journey, change in eating habits, desire to study more, etc.  “I need to lose 10 pounds” is an outcome.  If you do not succeed in losing 10lbs in a week, say you only lose 6, then you feel unsuccessful.  But changing that goal around and instead saying “I need to exercise 5 times per week,” this is a behavior.  If you do exercise 5 times that week and lose 6lbs, it’s a huge accomplishment!!  And you can even still track the outcome. 

Plus, you are more likely to continue the journey (especially weight loss) if you measure your behavior goals instead of your outcome goals.  In the first case, you feel defeated going into week 2 and possibly expect to make up from last week AND still lose your goal of 10 lbs.  It’s a vicious cycle.  But going into week 2 of a behavior goal, you feel successful at what you’ve accomplished and will probably work even harder.

So, as you begin the fall, school starting, setting new goals, etc., remember to set behavior goals rather than outcome goals.  I think you will be much more successful (and encouraged!) along the journey as well as reaping the rewards.